I'm a happily married mother of four amazing kids. My husband is a state corrections officer, my oldest two kids are in college, my younger son is a high school freshman, and I home school my eight year old daughter. I spend a lot of my free time surfing the web and writing. Now, let's define "free time."
Besides home schooling my youngest daughter, I also grow food in my own garden and can or freeze what I grow. I have 10 acres, and 3 acres of it is "yard", so I can go crazy with a garden! We also have wild blackberries growing all around the property, so home made jams and cobblers are served at family dinners. Due to health issues we quit growing our own livestock, but we're looking to get back into it within the next couple of years.
We have pets. Lots of pets. At the moment we have six dogs and more cats than I can keep track of. Before you call ASPCA on me, this is common in the country. Cats are part of farm living. When neighboring farmers harvest their crops, all of the mice, rats, and bugs look for a new place to live, a new food source. That's right, MY HOUSE. Since we started keeping cats we hardly ever see any rodents. Nature at work, folks.
We are in the process of remodeling our house. It isn't a matter of wanting a new look, it's a matter of everything falling apart! At this very moment, my husband and a friend are replacing the floor in our bathroom. Floors don't hold up well when kids slosh in the tub too much!
Every few months my in-laws need help with their store, so I run it for them. Sometimes it's just two or three days, sometimes a week. Their regular customers are the best because even though my understanding of the farm produce they carry is limited, they do what they can to help me. They're friendly enough and regular enough that when I don't know the answers to their needs they just leave a note for my in-laws or offer to check back when they return. It gives me a feeling of what it must have been like everywhere 30-40 years ago. The best parts of Mayberry, you might say.
When you pile normal housewife activities on top of all of that, free time is something that is pretty scarce! But I make the time, even if it means getting up a couple of hours before the kids, so I can do what I love. Write and mingle with people online.
Where I Came From
I literally came from right here, I only live 15 miles from where I grew up, but I didn't stay here. I just came full circle.
When I graduated from high school I moved to Normal, Illinois with my cousin. She was a college student there and I intended to go to school for nursing. I've always been adept with medical terms, procedures, and the like. The summer before I moved I worked as a certified nursing assistant at the local hospital, caring for patients in the med/surg department and caring for newborns in OB. In Normal I got a job at a hospital, but it was geriatric long term care.
I will tell you right now, it takes one of two kinds of people to do geriatric care. A heartless person, or a person with a heart the size of Texas with strength to match. I had the heart, but not the strength. I become attached to people easily, so when patients would pass away it would break my heart. At this point I had every intention to go to school for nursing. Then I met a man.
My First Husband
Before I was hired at the hospital, I worked at a fast food place where I made several friends. Through this circle of friends I met my first husband. There is no respectful way of dancing around this, and if you've read this far you deserve the truth. The main thing we had in common was being at the age and inclination to party. But while it was just recreational to me, easy to give up, it was more for him. Couple that with an extremely jealous attitude and it was the perfect making for a domestic violence situation.
We had moved to Chicago before we married so he could go to school. The deal was that after he graduated it would be my turn to go. I didn't go to school when he did because somebody had to earn the money for our necessities, and his 3 hours a day at a fast food restaurant wasn't going to do it. I had a full time job, then I had two full time jobs. We married in Chicago, and it was in Chicago that he first hit me.
It was an up and down thing, but the relationship was “up” enough to bring two beautiful children into the world. A boy and a girl. I was pregnant with my daughter when I received the beating that convinced me it was time to go. When I left him I went to Michigan and spent the next seven months with an aunt and uncle to hide. They gave me a safe place to stay for the duration of my pregnancy, and I was glad of it.
Full Circle
After my daughter was born I moved back to the rural county I grew up in. This was where my family was, where I could get help getting back on my feet. Also, it was where I could be there for them because my mother had a massive heart attack while I was still in high school, so I worried about her constantly. So I moved my two small children into my mother's home and finally started college. I had my associates in science for psychology by the time I met my second husband, and this time it was right. Sort of.
My best friend had a New Year's Eve party at the end of 1992, and I met her husband's youngest brother. Five years younger to be exact, and that was a problem. But we survived it, and after realizing that I wasn't taking advantage of their son, his parents finally grew to love me.
So we're back to now. Things have never been easy, but they've always been interesting. And I've always picked up a lesson or two along the way. Things I've always been willing to share with those that ask. If we can't share what we've learned in our lives, then what was the point in learning them? There's no shame in growing.
It was interesting, helpful and inspiring.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing