Meet Deborah "Dr. Deb" Rouse-Raines!



Our first advice guru interview is with Deborah “Dr Deb” Rouse-Raines. I'll admit somewhat of a bias because I've had a chance to really get to know Deb. She contacted me after I posted my first blog, and we've been emailing ever since.



Used with permission by Deb



A warm, friendly, funny woman, Deb instantly makes you feel like she's the kind of friend you could turn to in your time of need. You feel as if you could cry on her shoulder easily and get comfort, and that's just from talking to her through emails.



Deb never comes across as a “know-it-all”. She has great insights, but she's not afraid ask for advice, or offended at finding out she's wrong about something. In my opinion, that makes her wonderful person, but also an exceptional doctor. The medical world truly lost an exceptional asset to their field when Deb was forced to close her practice.



So let me introduce you to Dr. Deb as she answers questions about herself, in her own words, free of word limits.

Gayla:



What would you consider some of the biggest challenges you've faced in your life? How do you think they've helped you become who you are today?

Deb:

I have been very blessed in my life, but there were two challenges that have really shaped who I am today.

The first has been my lifelong struggle with weight. I don’t really regard it as a struggle any more, not because I’m really skinny, but because I refuse to define myself by a number on the scale. I lost over 60 lbs almost 17 years ago and have generally kept it off except for weight fluctuations with my pregnancies.



I was a thin child, but when puberty hit, so did the curves. I started my first fad diet at age 11 when I was 125 pounds, and that set me on a destructive path of fad starvation diets over the next ten years. I yo-yoed my way up to over 215 pounds. Finally my parents realized that diets didn’t work for me, and they sent me to an eating disorders recover center. This experience changed my life. I learned that I wasn’t over-eating because I was hungry, but because I was stuffing down unpleasant emotions. I learned to love myself the way that I am, right now, and came to understand that being thin would neither make me happy nor solve my problems. I no longer felt the burden to chase perfection.



Much of the eating disorder therapy took place in support groups, so I spent a lot of time listening to others’ problems. I was always the youngest one there, so the experience gave me insight into addiction at an early age, and it that has helped me counsel people throughout my adult life.



The second biggest challenge for me was being forced to abruptly abandon my medical practice just as it was blossoming. A medical malpractice crisis hit Cincinnati several years into my obstetrics career, and the skyrocketing costs of insurance forced many of us out of medicine. My life changed literally overnight. One day I was receiving the grateful praise of a new mother or the self-satisfaction of a successful surgery, and the next, I was stuck in the house with 4 children, ages 5 and under, drowning in body fluids, laundry, and dirty diapers. Yes, I was helping my family, but my entire professional identity, that for which I had labored for 24 years of schooling had vanished overnight. I had been following a well-laid path for my entire life and now everything was thrown off track.



I have grown from this experience, however. While I no longer have the security of the inexorable educations climb, I also now have the freedom to follow my dreams outside of medicine. I have learned that I can create new opportunities for myself and have accepted that not all my endeavors will meet with immediate success.

This challenge has led me to this point, where I may follow my dreams with Good Morning America.

Gayla:

Tell me a little bit about your family.

Deb:



I count my marriage and children as my life’s greatest blessing. I have been married to my husband Max for almost 18 years. We met in an elevator on the first day of medical school, and we’ve lived and grown together as best friends ever since. We have 4 children, twin boys that are 12 ½ , an almost 10 year old daughter and a 7 1/2year old daughter. Our home teems with the activity and sounds of a busy, loving, and laughing family. We came to learn very early on that each child is an individual with his/her unique talents and inclinations. Our job as parents is to help each one of them find his/her own path.



I am also very close to my parents and 6 siblings, both emotionally and geographically. My parents and most of my siblings live within a few miles of my house. We were immersed in our extended family, frequently spending weekends and holidays with aunts, uncles, and cousins. This upbringing reinforced my firm belief in the sacred family circle.

Gayla:

What is a basic day in your life like? What do you do to unwind, or for a hobby

Deb:



My realistic, basic dream day: wake with my husband at 5 and work out before I get the kids off to school. I then write and research for my blog and tv spots while getting all the laundry and cooking done, volunteer at school and greet my family to a homemade dinner before we do homework and have a family game night.

Then real life happens.

While some component of this day will happen, I spend most of my time putting out the daily fires that occur in our chaotic lives.



At least once a day someone will ask for advice. Today I had a lady ask me about a polyp that was just removed from her cervix while I was watching my Godson’s Christmas play. Yesterday someone emailed me to buy them 30 schnecken from our local bakery and send it to Arkansas. Sunday someone called to ask about the best camera lens and Saturday night my neighbor’s daughter asked me to come over and make sure her 75-year-old Mom did not have a blood clot. There is always some emergency and people will come to me because they know that I am always willing to help.

I don’t have much time to unwind but I do love a good massage. My kids would say that I am the world’s best hugger/snuggler. I started Pilates reformer this fall and it has done wonders for my waist and well as my mood. My hobby/obsession is photography and movie making. I am a MAC-oholic and takes classes at the Apple store frequently. I love to cook, but not everyday. (I do cook everyday; I just don’t love it everyday.)

Gayla:



The recession has impacted nearly everybody in America, how has it impacted you and your family?

Deb:

The recession hit us many years ago when my malpractice carrier pulled out of Ohio, and I had to suddenly stop practicing with the escalating malpractice costs of our new carrier.

This was devastating for me, as I had spent my entire life training to be a physician and loved helping people. I never wanted to stay at home but couldn’t “afford” to work as crazy as that sounds.



Fortunately, my husband and I came from meager backgrounds and have always lived well below our means. I am a coupon clipping, deal-hunting machine so we were able to adjust to our lower income. My husband took on another job at the Veterans Hospital in addition to his private practice to offset some of our expenses. His practice has suffered from the recession but we are grateful he has a job. My sister has to leave our hometown because her husband cannot find work in Cincinnati. We are sad that our cousins, who now go to our same school, are leaving, but grateful that they have a job.



We are sad that our children and their cousins won't be attending school together any longer because of relocating, but we're grateful that their father has been able to find a new job.

Gayla:

If I spoke to the people that know you best, what would I hear from most of them about you?



Deb:

I think my friends would say that I am a very loving and caring person that would always be there for them, no matter what they needed. They could talk to me about anything because I would listen and not judge. I am a “get the job done” kind of person and nothing I do would surprise them. In many ways, I am fearless and love to laugh, dance, and have fun.

I think they would also say that I talk to my kids about everything and have well mannered, insightful children because I am tough, but nurturing.



Gayla:

What caused you to want to submit an application for the GMA advice guru position? What got you started giving advice?

Deb:



I think that I have been giving advice since I was a child, although my siblings might just say I was bossy. I have always been a nurturer and a healer so giving medical advice became my vocation. Since I cannot practice medicine, I have been looking for a way to help people. While I am a medical correspondent now locally, an advice guru makes sense because I believe that much of what I have to offer comes from being a parent, wife, sister and friend, not just a doctor.

Gayla:

Is there anything else you would like to share with our readers that you haven't had the opportunity to share yet?

Deb:



I am not the single best person to give advice. No one has all the answers.

I do care about others and enjoy helping them.

I believe that we all have advice gurus in our lives. The key is to find and listen to those people.

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Check in often, and soon I'll be introducing you to other exceptional advice gurus. Some you know from the Good Morning America competition, and some that are just as helpful just less known.

Click here to read Deb's responses to real viewer's questions and to click "Like" for the Facebook vote!  Rank her answer, and leave her a comment!